by Tamara Sandor

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released April 19, 2016


tags: folk Montreal


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Tamara Sandor Montreal, Québec

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Track Name: Tines

old drifter plagued with hiccups found God
thus stricken shot up sickened and saw
the ever-lengthening rhythm
the ever-gaping maw

when you hold your breath I find that I can breathe
heavy stone Adonis lying beside me
desiring nothing

and in the absence of your flapping child’s wiles
my tea-light heart can hear itself humming
with a heat that is wild


quick men! undam the rivers!
of pens pockmarked from chewing
on those gloomy gothic truths I read in the tiles

quick! can I be delivered?
sharpened my teeth on fresh young poplars
and now I gotta watch that smile


lo! and behold!
new moss managed to grow on those
glowing old photographs
we thought we tacked to the wall
that backs onto time

and now I fear that if I turn my mind away from the cradle
my babe will sprout coarse and vicious tines
or worse still, I will
just guiltlessly
forget that he is mine


oh little lady
it’s okay
but it ain’t like a train
don’t let their guitar playing fool you

oh little lady
it is a boon
but you cannot tune it to your style
it comes to you barbed and unbridled


oh my love
oh my love
you root and root to touch just what is mute in me
I’m quitting, this is my last pack of epiphanies
I will wait
til the end of my days
for it to hit me
Track Name: Magpie

Magpie knows she’s on fire,
She found a flower in a ripe death o’ swamp somewhere,
Wide-eyed at her luminous prize,
She cries in the hot night air.

Poise and shape and petal and smell,
She stands transfixed in a crystalline spell,
The power and poison of beauty compel,
When you know how to love so well.

Loon says, “Take care of yourself!
Take care of yourself, my dear.”

Loon lolls lonely along the shore,
She doesn’t sing anymore,
All for the love of a bear,
Feeds fast on skittish and shallow fare.

Minnows in the muck, all disrupted, upswept,
At the slightest kick-step of a foot thus webbed,
“Curse my clumsiness! Damn my head!
That can’t even get herself fed.”

Then ‘long comes blackbear, end o’ the day,
Sayin,’ “Loon, I love to see you flop around that way,
Just step into my broad and bountiful arms,
And I’ll never let you come to harm.”

Magpie says, “There ain’t no good way,”
Back to the deep and find your prey.
Hey girl, there ain’t no good way,
Everything ends this way.”

See the pie fly, paintbrush tail, down from her
Domed home high in a treetop, brimmin’ with the
Treasure she treasures till they’re spoilt and stale,
And leaves the old nest to the small hawks.

“But the madness, Mag, of tenderness turned to slay
That caressed just yesterday
We had plans…”

“Well did you hear that the deer, whether doe or stag,
When she’s all done runnin’ ‘cross plains and crags,
And the skittishness slips from her bones,
She locks eyes with the wolf, all alone,
And they agree all’s fair and planned,
And they share some prayer of the land.

“You step out the palace,
and there’s no malice in a world of sand.”

Magpie says, “There ain’t no good way,”
Back to the deep and find your prey.
Hey girl, there ain’t no good way,
Everything ends this way.”

Loon says, “Take care of yourself!
Take care of yourself, my dear.”
Track Name: Blood Memory
Blood Memory

Back in the back of my lair bludgeoning doves,
Pain’s got to go somewhere, and it does

Romanticomic situations in apartments in New York
I leave my body for a second and the day’s turned into dark
I need to get some walls around it, push it through my arteries

If there’s another way, I’ll do it, it came to me readymade
I don’t know why it works, where I learned it, or how to make it pay
Feeling overflows the form it knows and the
Chord cuts both ways

I’m gonna work it out, I told my brother so
We found it in my mouth, a lump of solid gold
That was one hour and a half ago and it’s turned
Tinny and cold tinny and cold tinny and cold

But the skin enfolding my face and tits and feet and fingers fights
The same fight’s been fought for four eons ‘gainst equilibrium,
I must abide
I must get on the right side of it
Track Name: A Thousand Holes
a thousand holes

there’s a thousand holes to hide in
there’s a thousand holes to fall through
I’ve been in a few of ‘em
you have too

there’s a thousand reasons to say no
there’s a thousand reasons to stay in
you ask me why I say these things
it’s so you know

remember when I was alone
sitting in the snake pit, becoming stone
remember when I came unstrung
walked down the street,
felt naught but heated
spit of lashing foreign tongues

there are times
we’ve ground
such fresh-laid soil into a mound
with toes and fled

but we got songs
for when the time comes
to remind us
to forget

so baby let’s relent,
caress the surfaces,
encourage this
perfect and proverbial body
to rise and set

I learned that falling stars
favour wishes washed-out and inarticulate
I hope we go pretty far
I hope we get to the fruit of it
Track Name: Walls

Smell of earth,
soil upturned
I wrote you a letter
bright and sharp as a spade
and you answered
from the grave
You said “Yeah,
we should’ve fucked when we had the chance”

We met at his last party
sonny_boy has one new friend
Such an end could not be imagined there,
No kind of end for a gentleman satyr,
with his love for the ladies.
Not in front of the ladies!

I’ve been waitin
I’ve been waitin for this
For this curse,
for this curse to lift

Old Elijah, callin me out,
smellin of hickory and trout
Old Elijah, callin me out,
smellin of hickory and trout...

The chick cocked her head,
said “baby count to ten,”
and disappeared into the morning

Back safe in bed,
she counted up the cash,
happy it happened and
happy to get out while she still can,
Thinkin she’s winnin, thinkin she was winnin,
Havin it both ways, havin it both ways,
Like a queen, like a queen...
Track Name: Columbus

if i am a flower
and i may be a flower
i’ve been in bloom only once
and it was with you

if i am a loon
and i may be a loon
i sang to the moon only once
and the moon was you

if i am a fire
and i may be a fire
i have been stoked only once
and it was by you

if i am a baby
and i may be a baby
i have been rocked only once
and it was by you

There is no carnival,
There’s lost, and there is home,
And when the art falls apart,
Things stand singular as stones.

if i’m a mosquito
and i may be a mosquito
i have drawn blood only once
and the blood was you

if i am an otter
and i may be an otter
i swam in the water only once
and the water was you

if i am a knoll
and i may be a knoll
i have been grassy only once
and the grass was you

if i’m a machine
and i may be a machine
i have been oiled only once
and it was by you

Remember in the forest,
Where all is wordless and porous,
And the water finds the seed,
And you do get what you need,
Your windy wild spirit is
cut out for this time,
Go Columbus!
Go See It!
just don’t lose your mind and
please! don’t forget me!
please! don’t forget me
when you’re fine—
you will be fine
Track Name: A Date
A Date

We made a date
to dance along the floor of the sea
to hold hands in the soft, molten heat
where all lines meet

We rode along
astride horses
whose senses
were gone

We watched the gathering armies
We skipped off
and ripped off
the country
To live in the trees


“Carry it off,
light as a cloth
of Egyptian blue”

That’s what the god
of terror and love
told me to do

I know the light splits and frays
And flesh turns to fresh, cold clay
But losing everything, my king, is ok


We showed up late,
de-clawed, mottled and grey,
ate some remainder of cake
and called it a day

We built a nest of blackness
where nothing can bleed
But I have not yet finished falling
down on my knees